A guest piece from the mind of Dane Callstrom.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of year again. A
time of magic. A time of hope. And, yes, a time of “madness” when you
realize you’ve already gambled away your tax refund you haven’t gotten
yet.
It’s a time when Louisville and Indiana fans boldly
proclaim themselves the future champions while secretly praying they don’t get
“Norfolk Stated.” It’s a time when
Davidson and Valpo fans cling to the hope that this year is their year to be Cinderella—otherwise
known as Te’o-ing. It’s a time of year when lots of things
happen in lots of places near and/or around lots of people. I think I’ve made my point—March Madness is a
moment in time. And it’s here through
the first week of April!
But, as any Kansas fan knows, March Madness is a
time of the killer “B”s. For those of
you who reside under a rock, this happened in 2005.
The Bucknell Bison, a 14-seed, took down the 3-seed, Kansas, in the first round. Jayhawk Nation was more embarrassed than
future Lindsey Vonn when she finds out Tiger slept with 23 women while dating
her.
The following year, this happened. Another first round upset to another “B”
team—the Bradley Braves. Two promising years. Two early exists. Two performances more embarrassing than being
seen at a movie theater on a Friday night with Lennay Kukua.
If there’s one thing the Jayhawks have learned
from these experiences, it’s to heed the killer “B”s— not to be confused with
the “Killa Bees” or anything related to the Wu-Tang Clan. And you
should heed them too—the killer “B”s, not the Wu-Tang Clan. Well, perhaps the Wu-Tang Clan on occasion as
well, but not all the time. Anyway, I digress.
You may ask, “Dane, why should I heed the killer
‘B’s?” My response: Prosperity. In other words (according to an internet
thesaurus), fortune, wealth, riches, luxury, and—my personal favorite—gravy
train. To off-quote Jerry Maguire, the
killer “B”s will “Show you the
money!” Of course, I am talking about winnings
from NCAA Bracket Pools.
