Oral Roberts to Forfeit Two Games Against Imaginary Schools

Today, it was announced that Oral Roberts will have to forfeit two upcoming games against "Abilene Christian" and "Incarnate Word" because they've played too many non-Division 1 schools this year already.

According to NCAA bylaws, Division 1 teams can play a maximum of 4 non-Division 1 schools each year, including exhibition games. The Golden Eagles already defeated the non-Division 1 likes of Northwood, Rogers State, Cameron and Dallas Baptist, but apparently, they didn't think those victories would be convincing enough for the NCAA Selection Committee to put them in the NCAA Tournament later this season.

To amp up their résumé, they scheduled two "games" against Division 2 "schools" that they made up--Abilene Christian and Incarnate Word.

7 Things You Can Do In 0.3 Seconds

On Tuesday, December 17, Florida Golf Coast had a game-tying shot in double overtime negated. They were playing South Florida and were trailing 66-68 with 0.3 seconds left when Chase Fieler caught a full-court pass and made a shot as time expired. He got the shot off before the buzzer sounded, but the officials ruled that it didn’t count. See it go down here:

Apparently, there’s a little rule in college basketball that states: 

“In any period, when the game clock displays 10ths of seconds and play is to be resumed by a throw-in or a free throw when 3/10 (.3) of a second or less remains on the game clock, a player may not gain possession of the ball and try for a field goal. Such player can only score a field goal by means of a tap of a pass or of a missed free throw.”

It’s hard to blame Fieler for his failed attempt at “Just the Tip.” There’s not a whole lot you can do in 0.3 seconds, but there are at least 7 things you can do in that amount of time...

Expect Layups: The NCAA Women's Championship

Usually every week I compare my impressions of a player or team to statistics, to see if they confirm the "eye test." I first started out by looking at Bobcats legend Byron Mullens. However, this week I'm going to be bringing you something entirely different - that's right, a live blog of the women's NCAA basketball championship.

Editor's note: I thought this game started at 9:23pm just like the men's game. Oddly enough, they started it earlier because most people don't feel compelled to watch women's basketball til midnight. This means that the first 18 minutes of the first half consisted of me watching the Lion King. I am not the least bit ashamed. We pick up with 1:50 remaining in the first half.

1:50: I flip the channel and a travel is called immediately. Tough call, she only took 4 steps without dribbling. Looked like a cartoon character wiping out on a banana peel. Oh by the way - Louisville is down by 20 with 2 minutes left in the first half.

1:41: A deep 3 from UConn. Apparently that girl has 17 points already. It's like Trey Burke's extremely pale, white female twin! I can get into this.

1:35: A loss of basic motor function by UL's point guard results in a turnover. Maybe I can't get into this.

0:42: Louisville cuts it to a "manageable" 19 points. I'm having trouble writing this with a straight face.

0:30: Girl with 17 points on UConn is apparently named Brianna Stewart. The announcer casually mentions that her wingspan is 7'1". KEVIN DURANT only has a 7'5" wingspan. Maybe the Bobcats can take her with the #1 overall pick.

0:22: Louisville's shooting guard decides to take a contested, fadeaway 18 footer across her body, also known as the "JR Smith." And it's good!!! Just kidding, it nearly put the cameraman in a wheelchair.

0:10: UConn's point guard decides to end the half with back to back near-airballs. Geez, why don't you build a house for the homeless with all those bricks?

0:00: We have a special guest for halftime - Maya Moore!! Back to the Lion King it is.

(Halftime spent crying over Mufasa's death)

20:00: And we're back!

19:40: Quick Louisville basket. Lead down to 17. Has a team ever won the men's and women's tournament in the same year? That would be pretty cool.

19:22: Quick UConn basket. UConn coach Geno Auriemma is currently sweating through his 3rd shirt of the game, setting his sights on Gary Williams' long standing record of 7.

17:40: UL guard actually dribbles off her foot out of bounds. Jesus.

17:10: UConn drains a wide open 3. Gotta be honest, I'm very aware which team is the 1 seed in this game.

16:50: UL point guard throws a pass to 3 UConn defenders with none of her teammates in sight. "She's not really a natural point guard," the announcer lets us know. Well, then.

15:40: UL's backup point guard brings the ball up the court with the single greatest "deer in the headlights" look I've ever seen. Even I feel kinda bad. UL misses a wide open 3.

14:50: Rick Pitino is interviewed. He has clearly not slept in 48 hours, and is looking like a homeless man's Charlie Sheen. In a 12 hour span, Pitino won the national championship, had his horse qualify for the Kentucky Derby, made $3 million, and his son was hired to coach basketball at the University of Minnesota. Now that's a heater.

13:50: Louisville takes a charge and hits a 3 on the other end! THERE IS FIGHT IN THIS DOG YET!

13:27: Schloppy turnover from UConn. Extra schloppy.

13:05: SPLASH! 3 FOR LOUISVILLE! 16 POINT GAME! CAN YOU DIG IT?!

12:45: Brianna Breanna Stewart puts the kibosh on that run with another 3. I just found out that she can dunk. Seriously, can the Bobcats draft her already?

12:15: Louisville airballs a stepback jumper and UConn's center throws the outlet pass out of bounds. That was fun.

11:55: Louisville airballs a fadeaway jumper and UConn's point guard throws a transition pass out of bounds. That was fun.

11:55: Wait, what just happened??

11:55: Geno is sputtering he is so angry. He actually sounds like Popeye the Sailor Man. Bro you're up 18, lighten up!

8:15: Nifty pass from UConn's point guard leads to a layup, a steal leads to another layup, another steal leads to a 3, and a bad shot by Louisville leads to another 3. All of a sudden it's a 27 point game. Where's Luke Hancock when you need him?

7:33: UL point guard pulls up from 28 feet with 25 left on the shot clock...(CLANK). Who the hell do you think you are?

7:12: Flagrant foul on Louisville's center! I love when things gets chippy in women's basketball. Kinda hot, actually.

6:16: Foul shots and a couple buckets make it a 32 point lead for UConn...and they hit yet another 3. UConn 87 - Louisville 52. The women's record is apparently 97 points in a championship game. I am now rooting for this to happen.

3:49: Louisville launches a series of...ummm..."ill-advised" 3s. I'm tempted to yell, "PULL!" every time they shoot like I'm going skeet shooting.

3:10: Geno just subbed Breanna Stewart back in! He's winning by 33! Somebody shoot this guy.

1:35: Louisville just subbed in bench warmer Shelby Harper. The fuck were they waiting for?

0:34: Louisville misses a 3. They are now 0 for their last trillion.

0:00: UConn runs out the clock for a 33 point win. That was the exact opposite of the instant classic we had from the men's game last night. On the bright side, I found my new crush. Marry me, Shelby Harper?

Once you're in the gym, you're in range

Last night, the University of Michigan Wolverines squared off against the Louisville Cardinals in the NCAA Men's National Championship game.  Please excuse the delay of this week's Tweener, as I felt this was a prime opportunity for another retro-diary. And yes, I chose to do this at least in part because in nearly every bracket I filled out I had a Michigan-Louisville final.

8:53PM - Tip off is in one hour. I just finished my dinner of pizza bites and an apple, so my night is off to a great start.

Here's my prediction of how this goes: Early offense from both teams. Pitino asks his guys to slow things down. Russ Smith forgets that strategy in two possessions. Louisville goes into the half up two. Michigan comes out hot. Stauskas hits a couple "white-man-corner-threes"prompting celebrations from his bench like the one below. It gets close. And then.....TREY BURKE. The national player of the year shows up, goes 5-for-6 from the free throw line, hits a couple of tough drives, and then is accidentally left open for 3 on a possession where Russ Smith thought he was already on a fast-break but forgot the basketball. Dagger. Wolverines, 79-74.

The Tweener: "A Cold-Blooded Three!"

On February 26 I wrote an inaugural Tweener column. It's that time of the week again! This time we're going to look at the five most hateful shots of the 2013 NCAA Tournament (to date, at least).

Just in case you forgot why this column was called "The Tweener," it's because I love points, and more specifically shots, like this:

Anyway, here's the real theme of this week's piece:

THE TOP 5 MOST HATEFUL SHOTS OF THE NCAA TOURNAMENT (thus far)

The Tweener: A Horcrux, Decisions, and a Flying Chicken

On February 26 I wrote an inaugural Tweener column.  It's that time of the week again - here are this issue's quick hitters:

• Forgive my depression. I still haven't fully recovered from the soul crushing loss Davidson suffered in the first round of the NCAA tournament on Thursday.  As we slouched on the couch in the dark in the immediate aftermath of this loss, a friend remarked, "This must be how it feels to make a horcrux."  That someone could reference Harry Potter in this situation almost made me smile, but my cheek muscles didn't budge.  Perhaps the worst part? So many good things that happened in that game will be lost because of the final result.  I'm talking about the smart defensive scheme Davidson employed, the realization by the rest of the country that Davidson was probably under-seeded, Jake "Late second round pick/poor man's Ryan Anderson" Cohen's fluid game, and, most notably, this: 

The Anatomy of a Mid-Major Upset: How Davidson Could Be This Year’s Davidson

The greatest two days of the year are upon us. The first round of March Madness is where seniors play what could be the final game of their collegiate lives, supposedly “great” teams fall victim to stunning upsets, and heroes emerge from nowhere to lead their teams on miracle runs. And never are these qualities more evident than when a “mid-major” team takes down a national powerhouse from one of the “Big 6” conferences.

The term “David over Goliath” is used way too often for my liking, but sometimes there’s no better term for when a team like Bradley takes down Kansas and Pittsburgh in consecutive games. Raise your hand if you know what state Bradley is from? A mid-major is defined as any team not from the ACC, SEC, Big 12, Big 10,  Big East, and Pac 12. Every single year, one of these mid-majors comes from nowhere to win a first round game (and sometimes more) that they have no business winning. 

There is serious money involved in the science of picking brackets, so anyone that can see these upsets coming can become a very rich individual. I’m not here to tell you I have those answers, but there are certain qualities shared by past mid-major Cinderellas that are great predictors of success in the tournament. Any time a team has at least 3 of these to their name, you better think twice before penciling in that #4 seed. And while I’m here, you better belive I’m gonna tell you why Davidson could be this year’s…well, Davidson.

1. "Under the Radar"

The Tweener - Bids Punched, Gross Beards, and a Phi-Slamma-Jamma Baby!

On February 26, I wrote an inaugural "Tweener" column. It's that time of the week: here are this issue's quick hitters:

• Liberty University found a way to win four games in a row in their conference tournament, and they are advancing to be sacrificial lambs for some one seed in the first round the NCAA tournament for the first time since 2004. Reporters on the scene detailed that students from the heavily-evangelist-influenced university were allowed to celebrate by staying out an extra 15 minutes (until 9:30, since 9-3=6 and that's the devils number) and have an extra glass of chocolate milk before bed. Former Liberty player Seth Curry, also headed to the NCAA tournament with Duke, has evidently been dealing with shin-splints the entire season and no longer regularly participates in practice. (Next week I'll lay out some predictions and picks for the tournament, but I will note here that while Duke looked great against UNC, it took two different players playing their best basketball at different times, as Curry appeared worn out after a sensational first half.) As I read this, I assumed it would hurt his draft stock. Turns out, he's projected to be selected somewhere late in the second round, if he gets selected at all. I thought a bit more about where he fits best, and suddenly it dawned on me - the Miami Heat. Of course at this point any player would probably fit well with the Heat, but as Miami moves away from the Mike Miller/Ray Allen/Shane Battier/Old Instructor from the new Priceline ads Rashard Lewis era, who better to have step in than a young, two position shooter? Miami has a good record of turning these kinds of guys into valuable assets (Chalmers & Cole), and he could certainly give you more than 4 minutes at a time without having back spasms.

The Kansas Jayhawks - Finally Laying a New Foundation

I should have written this piece weeks ago.  I’ve had these thoughts all season.  For someone who isn’t a particularly avid Kansas Jayhawks fan, I’ve watched a lot of their games this season.  I watched them lose early in the season to Michigan State. I watched them beat Ohio State. And then I watched them win a bunch of games in a row and climb to the top of the college basketball rankings. 

They didn’t belong there. That’s clear now.  And I know that is how the rankings work – you continue to win and others above you lose and you get to move up. The number one team in the country has lost the past five weeks.  I understand this season is “wide-open” in college basketball.

But that doesn’t prevent some teams from being clearly better than other teams. And Kansas isn’t among that upper group.