Deng, That's An Interesting Trade

On Monday, January 6, the Chicago Bulls traded Luol Deng to the Cleveland Cavaliers for Andrew Bynum, his hair, and three draft picks.  This trade was probably not that big of a deal, but deng it we're going to make it one! Welcome to our first roundtable discussion of 2014!

Who won this trade?

Paul: Um, neither team? In a sense, the Bulls "won" by avoiding the luxury tax this season and trading away an expiring contract for something, even though it is likely to be a late first or second-round pick sometime a few years off. At the same time, you have to think Deng might have chosen to remain in Chicago after his contract expired, which now seems like something with no shot of happening. Meanwhile, the Cavs clearly got better this season by adding Deng, a very solid player who has played at an all-star level as recently as 2 seasons ago. Unfortunately, they are 11 games under .500, have the 4th worst point differential in the league, and even in the Big 10 Conference Eastern Conference, they have to be seen as a long shot to make the playoffs. Are you really making this trade to try and convince LeBron you are "serious about contending?"

Grading the NBA Draft

At the start of 2014, it's important to look back on some big moments from 2013, like the NBA draft.  Plus, we're far enough into the season that we can now take a bunch of small sample sizes and make really hyperbolic statements about how well some teams did during this draft.  I'm bold enough to take that leap of faith.  Without further ado, here's a look at the quality of some of the 2013 draft picks:

#1: Cleveland Cavaliers - Anthony Bennett

Grade: LOL

#2: Orlando Magic - Victor Oladipo

What Can We Say About Kobe?

Kobe Bryant is 14th in NBA history in total regular season minutes played.  45,502, as of this writing.  He's 2nd in playoff minutes played, at 8,641, with only a playoff series or two separating him from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.  That's 54,143 minutes played over his 17 years in the league.  That's almost 38 days of playing basketball, and that only counts game time.  He's amassed these totals despite being only 25th and 4th in total games played (regular season and playoffs), and 37th and 43rd in minutes per game (regular season and playoffs).

That, my friends, is longevity.  It is also the combined luxuries of frequently sharing the court with other great players and having a traditionally deep bench, allowing Kobe to get a bit more rest than teams that have leaned heavily on one superstar, like Kevin Durant's Thunder (16th and 12th in regular season and playoff minutes per game career averages) or Lebron James's anything (6th and 6th in minutes per game averages).

A Triumphant Return, and A New Bullet in Washington

I know.  I can hear what you’re thinking.  “It’s about damn time.”

We’re sorry we were away for so long. We didn’t write during the summer because, well, we didn’t think you’d want to hear about how a simulated NBA2K13 season turned out if we each controlled 10 teams.  And also we didn’t want to do that much work.

But why did it take this long for us to come back?  That’s up there with the great mysteries of the universe, right next to: why do athletic shorts' pockets always come out of the wash inside out, why did they only make three Lord of the Rings movies for those three books (but turned the novel The Hobbit into 3 movies), and what does the fox say?

Actually the reason is simple – we wanted to ensure two things (yes...it only took 3 paragraphs before I made my first list of the season): (1) We were committed to continuing to produce worthwhile content, and (2) we had the writers and support to do so.  The truth is, we loved doing this last season, but three people producing 6 items a week was just too much.

Enter: our new cast of writers.  You know Paul, Brian, and me – if you’re new to blog (hooray!) we started this around Christmas last year and largely covered the NBA all the way through the finals in June when the San Antonio Spurs mysteriously lost to some other team.  I can’t remember who it was.

If you’re not new, allow me to introduce Will Roberts, Joel McMurry, Sean Cunningham, and Dane Callstrom.  One sentence each, here goes:

-       Will lives in Charlotte, hails from the Bay area, and likes throwing one hand passes out of bounds.

-       Joel lives in Chicago, generally enjoys watching athletic competitions on the television, and is apparently moving to Hawaii, giving us a correspondent able to cover the nighttime broadcasting on ESPN8 – The Ocho.

-       Sean lives, breathes, and occasionally burps basketball, is living in North Carolina, and plays basketball like a mix of healthy Danilo Gallinari and 45 year old Antoine Walker.

-       Dane lives in Kansas City, shaved his head after losing a bet, only to have his hair not really grow back, and joins our staff as a senior college basketball correspondent.

As per usual, I am now 400 words into a piece and haven’t really said anything of substance.  So here’s what I’ll say:

John Wall.

I’ll grant you that his assertions (“I’m the best point guard in the league.”) may be a little crazy, at least in an era with a healthy Chris Paul, Tony Parker, and Russell Westbrook (although Russell Westbrook prefers to play the “I’m a freak athlete” position instead of point guard).  But I legitimately think the list of point guards ahead of Wall stops there.  Wait, I forgot Steph Curry, and this blog loves him.  But Wall is top 5.

According to John Hollinger’s stats (on Tuesday, December 3, 2013), John Wall is 24^th in the league in PER.  He’s 13^th in Value Added.

Wall’s overall field goal percentage is just slightly lower than his career averages, but that should improve has he settles for fewer long 2-point jump shots.  Otherwise, compared to career averages, he’s shooting 8% better from beyond the arc, averaging 1 more assist per game (9.2 this season), averaging more steals and fewer turnovers, and shooting 6% better from the stripe.  His supporting cast is decent, but there’s no clear second option while Bradley Beal remains hurt.  And Wall knows this – why else would he grab a board and race down the floor in 2.72 seconds to go one on two (and still manage to score)?

A healthy Wall, with an eventually healthy Beal, will walk the Wizards into the playoffs.  But I’m going to be bolder – if those two are health for 50 games, the Wizards will grab a top 4 seed.  Before you go claw your eyes out, please note two things: First, Beal and Wall are likely both all stars this year if both remain healthy.  More importantly, as of this writing, at 9-9 the Wizards are sitting pretty at .500 on the season and are in third place in the Eastern Conference.  This won’t hold up, but with a healthy roster the Wizards could lay legitimate claim to the third spot in the East.  (Really, teams are battling for the 3 through 6 spots to avoid Indiana and Miami in round 1.)

Come find me in March.  I’ll either be proud and attending as many Wizards games as possible, or hiding inside, pretending the nation’s capitol doesn’t house an NBA team.

Welcome back!

NBA Finals Gifs

The NBA Finals are tied 2-2!!  Bosh and Wade are back!!  Lebron didn't let three slow games in a row get in his head!!  Tiago Splitter isn't actually good at basketball!!

Let's slow known on the knee-jerk reactions a little bit.  In order to get away from all that, we've compiled some of our favorite gifs from the NBA Finals so far.  You know how much we love gifs.

Best Plays in GIF Form

We'll start here, because this happened in Game 1, and because Norris Cole had no chance/got completely eviscerated:

Manu is a passing god.  If you look closely, you can actually see the fan in the stands with a wand that is actually controlling the ball in the first gif:

This just shows how strong Lebron is: Splitter wound up, Lebron went straight up, and Lebron said, "No thank you."

The NBA Finals: So Many Questions, Who Will Answer?

Tonight. 8:30. Miami. San Antonio. The NBA Finals.  Don't worry - we've answered the 10 most important questions so you don't have to.

Here we are - the Finals have arrived. Are you surprised this is the match-up we ended up getting?

Brian: Not at all. Everyone and their grandmother had the Heat representing the East, and although I had picked the Thunder at the beginning of the season, the loss of Westbrook immediately flipped my pick to the Spurs. You don't win 58 games by accident.

Jack: Not really. We knew it would take a stroke of really bad injuries luck for Miami not to make it to this point.  I think the Spurs may draw some motivation from all the "Westbrook getting hurt completely changed the West" talk.  Or at least I hope they do.

Paul: Before the season started, only one of ESPN's panel of 35 experts picked this particular matchup in the finals, so on one hand, this finals matchup is pretty surprising. That being said, everybody expected Miami in the East, and San Antonio brought every piece back from the West's best regular season team last year, so for anybody thinking objectively, it shouldn't have been a surprise at all.

How many games will Joey Crawford be prominently involved in?

Brian: At least 2. He might be involved in every game played at Miami, if David Stern has his way. I'm already giddy for the inevitable Tim Duncan technical just because Joey Crawford feels like it.

Jack: 1.6, after inadvertently ejecting himself with Norris Cole in the 3rd quarter of his second game refing.

Paul: The only person both delusional enough and power-hungry enough to consider letting Joey Crawford ref a Finals game is...David Stern. Crap. I'll say 2.

On a scale of 1-10 how excited are you for this Finals series?

Brian: 8.5 - I can't give it a 10 because I hate both of these teams. That being said, they are clearly the best 2 teams in the league, and play extremely smart, precision basketball. As a basketball nerd, I'm salivating. Ok, I just bumped myself to a 9.5.

Jack: 7.1.  I don't want the Heat to win...I think that's well documented.  So I can't be too excited.  But it is going to be a ridiculously high quality series.  Which is great.

Paul: Surprisingly, I'm about a 9.2 - not because I like either team, but because I expect to see basketball played at an extremely high level all series, even in pressure situations, with a lot of scoring thrown in. Throw in the 8-10 future hall of famers competing or coaching (and the unintentional comedy of Popovich's halftime interviews) and I expect to see the most entertaining finals since at least 2009. Bump this up to a 13.4 if the Spurs win and Popovich busts out this dance again:

Why is the East so bad? Let's fix this.

We were going to write something about Game 1 of the Pacers-Heat Eastern Conference Finals. We really were. It was a weird game. Paul George's emergence at the end, Paul George's disappearance at the very end, Lebron, the curiously quiet Miami crowd, Frank Vogel's coaching - there is plenty to talk about. But for those of us (me) who are not excited about a Miami repeat, the game served as yet another reminder of how easily the Heat may just walk through the East.  They played a team with a sub-.500 record in the first round.  They played a team missing 3 starters in the second round. And now they face an Indiana team that won't be able to play much better than they did in Game 1 (Indiana got a lot of free throws, shot, and held Miami to a miserable 3 point percentage - those are three tough things to keep up).  Look Miami is a great team. In the regular season they made a run at being historically great.  But the talk of "fo' fo' fo'" - that Miami would sweep all three Eastern Conference series 4-0 - is a red flag regardless of how good the team is.  The Eastern Conference just is not as good as the Western Conference (2 teams with 50+ wins this year to 5 in the West; 7 teams with 40+ wins to the West's 10).

Our mission, should we choose to accept it (I do), is to provide a variety of options David Stern and the NBA may use to realign the powers in the Eastern Conference (aka make it has hard as possible for the Heat to achieve a three-peat...a Heat-peat, if you will).  We welcome your comments, critiques, and suggestions.

This should be our goal. Metaphorically. Actually watch this 4 more times
and watch Jimmy Butler's leg. Lebron clearly exaggerates his fall, but
Butler definitely at least moves his leg towards Lebron. Which makes me laugh.

Option 1: Swap Memphis and Milwaukee

I'm leading with this because, if we're honest, moving Memphis to the Eastern Conference is really the best place to start. "But Jack," you say, "Then we're going to miss out on a decade's worth of Clippers-Grizzlies match ups in the playoffs as the 4 and 5 seed!" You're right. And I'm sorry about that. But the good news is, you won't have to watch Monta Ellis ever play in the playoffs again! I'll take that trade off.  Anyway, with Conley, Gasol, Randolph, Allen, Pondexter, and Bayless, and without Rudy Gay, Memphis will be a very solid to very good team for the next couple years.  If they add a shooter, they'll be even better.  They have size and defenders, and I would love to see them lose to Miami in six games in the Conference Finals.

Option 2: Change the Charlotte mascot back to the Hornets.

Done. Next.

Option 3: Allow Sam Presti to make all draft day decisions for the Wizards. 

2013 NBA Draft Roundtable

If you're looking for something to keep you from clawing your eyes out as you re-watch highlights of the Pacers blow Game 1 against the Heat, we've got you covered. We give you our takes on the top 5 overall picks in the 2013 NBA Draft and the impact we think they could have.

Pick #1: Cleveland Cavaliers

Jack: Andrew Wiggins. Isn't he the clear #1 overall? The Cavs have long-term answers at PG (Uncle Drew), PF (Thompson), and C (depending on how you view Varejao's health, but he was putting up 14 points and 14 boards a game before getting hurt), and maybe even SG if Waiters continues to improve.  Maybe you prefer Jabari Parker? Either way, this draft is so weak I think we see a high school player go first overall.  (I actually think they should trade this pick, either by trading down or by trying to get a young SF...I'm thinking Kawhi Leonard or Danny Green or Klay Thompson? But if they must pick, they'll probably take Nerlens Noel, C, Kentucky because he's the safest bet.)

Space Jam Roundup: Our Thoughts on Your Thoughts

As promised, here are our thoughts on our picks from yesterday's fantasy board draft. We've addressed our own picks, each other's picks, and those comments that were left on Facebook and the blog itself.

Paul: So I just spent a fairly long time perusing a jersey website trying to find a Tskitishvili jersey (no luck). However I did find this jersey for Brian: https://www.basketballjerseyworld.com/products/WAS0211-rasheed-wallace-washington-wizards-bullets.

Brian: I might have to get the Sheed jersey with expedited shipping, and I'll take a look at the linking feature this weekend.

Jack: Speaking of the Bullets, if we hypothetically said we were using 2012's draft order - you know who messes up this draft? The Wizards with the 3rd pick. "Ok, Lebron and Durant are gone. Irving? Harden? Paul? Oh crap we're down to 10 seconds...Beal looked pretty good this year? Klay Thompson is on fire since David Lee went out...uhhh we select Andrew Bogut!!!"

Ok, on to our thoughts?

Now That's a Fine Play!

Each year the NBA hands out a variety of fines and suspensions to its players and coaches. The NBA is, of course, all powerful, and therefore can fine or suspend you for whatever it wants to.  Some of these fines and suspensions are predetermined, such as the penalty for accruing too many technical fouls. We’re not really concerned with penalties like that; the really interesting fines and suspensions are the ones leveed by the NBA after the game is over and the league has time to review the tape.

Often this is how we choose to evaluate actors and actresses: we watch their performance and then later assess whether or not it was valuable.  This season the NBA has largely been judicious with their penalties: they’ve been consistent, and most of them were fines or suspensions that a player or team could reasonably expect. Yet regardless of their fairness, fines and suspensions always leave someone hot and bothered, even if what they did was ridiculous to begin with…which always leaves us rolling with laughter.

So without further ado, here are the best fines and suspensions from the 2012-2013 NBA season, broken down by category:

European Basketball Flopping

Did you know the NBA instituted a rule at the start of this season that allowed the NBA to determine if a player flopped after the game is over? Each player gets one warning, and then is fined $5,000 for their second ruled flop.  Here’s to you, Omer Asik, Kevin Martin, J.J.Barea, Gerald Wallace, and Reggie Evans for being officially designated as “pansies” by the league for over-floppage. Don’t worry, Zaza Pachulia, Gustavo Ayon, Royal Ivey, Tony Parker, and Donald Sloan – we know you received warnings too for not being man enough to play this game.  Oh and also, if you were curious, Donald Sloan now plays for the Guangdong Southern Tigers.

Generally Being a Dick to the Refs

The Tweener: A Horcrux, Decisions, and a Flying Chicken

On February 26 I wrote an inaugural Tweener column.  It's that time of the week again - here are this issue's quick hitters:

• Forgive my depression. I still haven't fully recovered from the soul crushing loss Davidson suffered in the first round of the NCAA tournament on Thursday.  As we slouched on the couch in the dark in the immediate aftermath of this loss, a friend remarked, "This must be how it feels to make a horcrux."  That someone could reference Harry Potter in this situation almost made me smile, but my cheek muscles didn't budge.  Perhaps the worst part? So many good things that happened in that game will be lost because of the final result.  I'm talking about the smart defensive scheme Davidson employed, the realization by the rest of the country that Davidson was probably under-seeded, Jake "Late second round pick/poor man's Ryan Anderson" Cohen's fluid game, and, most notably, this: 

Obscure NBA Player of the Week: Chris Douglas-Roberts

Each week at Volume Shooters, we highlight an NBA player, past or present, who doesn't spend much time in the spotlight but is nonetheless a valuable cog in his team's quest for the championship. This week, we are writing each of our regular posts with a March Madness theme, which provided the inspiration for this week's Obscure NBA Player.

Most college basketball fans remember the 2007-2008 NCAA Tournament for a few main storylines - Davidson's incredible tournament run behind Stephen Curry's magic, Mario Chalmers' game saving shot, and a superstar freshman playing for Memphis by the name of Derrick Rose. But did you know that Rose was not the leading scorer for Memphis that year? He also wasn't the only Memphis Tiger player to be selected in the 2008 NBA draft. No, the leading scorer during Memphis's 30-win season was this guy:

Is he shooting or modeling a new line of rec specs here?

Yep, the one and only Chris Douglas-Roberts! More on Chris after the break...

Volume Shooters for 3!

We decided to take a break from our otherwise uninteresting lives to enlighten the masses with a roundtable of 3 questions. Here's what we had to say:

Question 1: Which player who will likely enter the NBA draft this year will have the biggest impact next season? Which of these players will have the best career?

Jack: Trey Burke. If there's one thing you can learn from looking at the list of Rookie of the Year winners, it's that scoring matters, and scoring is easiest when you have the ball in your hands.  Burke won't be a top 5 pick, but he'll be an important part of wherever he ends up.  This was a toss up for me between Burke and Marcus Smart, and while Smart has the size to be better in the long run, but Burke plays two more minutes per game and turns the ball over significantly less.  As far as best career goes, it's hard not to select a player like Smart or a super efficient scorer like Oladipo, but I'm going out on a limb and saying James Michael McAdoo.  He's become a high-volume player this season in terms of shots, scoring, minutes, and rebounds. He has a great frame that will bulk up. I can see him becoming a Lamarcus Aldridge.  Not sure if that will be good enough to make him the best in his class, but that'd be pretty darn good.

Let's Make a Date

NBA commentators love talking about the best duos in the league. Lebron and Wade, Westbrook and Durant, Chris Paul and his dunking kangaroo - they all deserve plenty of praise.  This got me thinking - what players in the league would actually make great duos? Are there "families" in the league? Love triangles? Below is a closer look at the kinds of love stories that Nicholas Sparks aspires to write about.

Best Bromance - Javale McGee and Danillo Gallinari, Denver Nuggets

If I ever write a column where I have to label a "best" and "worst" teammate, Javale McGee may win both awards. His gaffes on the court are hilarious and routinely make his teammates (and coaches, and league execs, and anyone who watches him play and realizes how athletically confusing he is) shake their heads.

And yet, Javale McGee is the most positive bench supporter I have ever seen. This is on display most whenever Gallo shoots a three. Not only does Javale always assume the ball is going in, but once it does (Gallinari shot 47% on 3s in January, and 43% in February and March thus far), he is all love. I always shoot best when I play on teams with guys who are supportive of my shooting, encourage me to keep putting it up, and love all over me when it goes in (Bryce Robinson and Mike Ross get shout outs here). I'm sure Gallo feels the same way. I hate the love this blog has thrown the Nug-nuts way so far.  But could you really say no to this?

A Comedy of Errors: The Javale McGee Eye Test

It's funny how polarizing certain athletes can be.

Take Javale McGee, for example. Esteemed writer and devout Nuggets fan Paul Britton knows Javale as a productive, high-energy bench guy - someone who can immediately come in and block some shots, throw down a couple monster jams, and surprise you/make you chuckle:

As a Wizards fan, I know Javale as the exact fucking opposite.

The Tweener - Bids Punched, Gross Beards, and a Phi-Slamma-Jamma Baby!

On February 26, I wrote an inaugural "Tweener" column. It's that time of the week: here are this issue's quick hitters:

• Liberty University found a way to win four games in a row in their conference tournament, and they are advancing to be sacrificial lambs for some one seed in the first round the NCAA tournament for the first time since 2004. Reporters on the scene detailed that students from the heavily-evangelist-influenced university were allowed to celebrate by staying out an extra 15 minutes (until 9:30, since 9-3=6 and that's the devils number) and have an extra glass of chocolate milk before bed. Former Liberty player Seth Curry, also headed to the NCAA tournament with Duke, has evidently been dealing with shin-splints the entire season and no longer regularly participates in practice. (Next week I'll lay out some predictions and picks for the tournament, but I will note here that while Duke looked great against UNC, it took two different players playing their best basketball at different times, as Curry appeared worn out after a sensational first half.) As I read this, I assumed it would hurt his draft stock. Turns out, he's projected to be selected somewhere late in the second round, if he gets selected at all. I thought a bit more about where he fits best, and suddenly it dawned on me - the Miami Heat. Of course at this point any player would probably fit well with the Heat, but as Miami moves away from the Mike Miller/Ray Allen/Shane Battier/Old Instructor from the new Priceline ads Rashard Lewis era, who better to have step in than a young, two position shooter? Miami has a good record of turning these kinds of guys into valuable assets (Chalmers & Cole), and he could certainly give you more than 4 minutes at a time without having back spasms.

How Deep Are They?

Along with "clutch player," "great execution," and "hand down, man down," one of the most common platitudes you hear while watching an NBA game is "this team goes [X] players deep." While it is true that every NBA player is one of the best players in the world, there are certain guys who pretty much don't play unless a team has foul trouble or the game is a blowout. Announcers love to talk about how deep a team's bench goes, but how can one really quantify the depth of a bench? At Volume Shooters, we take a (highly scientific) look at this question using the following criteria: which team has the best player as the Xth guy in their rotation? One man's opinion is below:

(Best team) 1-deep: Miami Heat

A fairly obvious choice here considering the Heat have the best player in the world right now. While you could argue that a better scorer would be more important if the rest of your team has minimal talent, LeBron's variety of skills would allow him to adapt however the team needed on that night.

Also Considered: OKC Thunder, LA Clippers, San Antonio Spurs

The Tweener: A Wizard, A Chief, and a CIA Diplomat

On February 26, I wrote an inaugural Tweener column. As a "periodic" piece, I can now put them out whenever I have something to say. Here are this issue's quick hitters:

• As the Pope steps down from his post, he plans to carry out the rest of his life in the Castel Gandolfo (that's Italian for "Gandalf's Castle"). Interestingly, this castle basically comprises the Vatican's backyard. This move has brought to light the often hushed-up adherence in the Catholic Church to the beliefs and stories of JRR Tolkien. In fact, the Vatican seized this property in 1596 when the Savelli family threatened to prevent the Valinor from departing Middle Earth at the dawn of the "Age of Men." Anyway, it reminded me of this: 

Obscure NBA Player of the Week: Mirza Teletovic

In a continuing effort to increase the volume of posts on Volume Shooters, we will be adding a number of "weekly features" which appear on a regular basis. One such feature, debuting today, is the "Obscure NBA Player of the Week," meant to highlight a player that doesn't get much burn for his current team, but is noteworthy for one reason or another. Usually, he is noteworthy because he is somehow hilarious.

This week's obscure NBA player is this guy:



Yes, folks, the one and only Mirza Teletovic! Here's what you need to know about Mirza:

The Wizards Sparkle

Yesterday evening I had the distinct pleasure of going to watch the Washington Wizards host the Los Angeles Clippers.  Unfortunately, 3 of the best 5 or 6 players did not play.  On the other hand, I paid $5 for my ticket, so I think I got my money’s worth. 

7:05PM – We walk in (the we being myself and two of my roommates) just in time to see the Wizards intro video. John Wall is obviously introduced last. His eyes look…blazed…and he doesn’t look terribly happy.  Not that it’s a live feed, but he just clearly isn’t trying.