Wilt and The Legend of 20,000

By Brian Sachtjen

Twenty thousand. Almost every casual sports fan has heard of Wilt Chamberlain and the claim that he slept with 20,000 women over the course of his life.

Now you have to admit, that number sounds way too round and convenient to be based on any sort of truth. Where did it come from? Allegedly, he created that figure after a 10 day stay in Honolulu where he slept with 23 women. He took that rate of promiscuity, divided it by 2 to be conservative (for a pace of 1.15 women per day), and multiplied by the number of days he had been alive and sexually active (since age 15) to arrive at 20,000.

So this begs the question: did Wilt actually accomplish the feat of 20,000, or was that just an arbitrary representation of his success with women? And just for fun, where would other famous athletes and celebrities fall on the spectrum of sexual conquest? Let’s pretend that Vegas sets over/under lines for degenerate gamblers like myself to bet on - what would these lines be, and where would I put my money? With great pleasure I present to you the Durex^© Athlete/Celebrity Cocksman All Stars.

The Tweener - Inaugural Edition

In tennis, a player will use a tweener to get out of a tough position. It is a shot that requires a precise amount of timing, coordination, and luck. The tweener bridges the gap between net play, recovery, and a ground-stroke rally. In this new, hopefully weekly piece, I will attempt to "bridge the gap" between things that are not at all sports related and sports themselves. If you're reading between the lines, you'll understand that what that really means is, "I want to comment on things besides sports, as well as specific things in sports that I find either hilarious or interesting. And in order to do so, I'll find a way to connect them that probably doesn't make sense at all." These pieces will be quick-hitters, and therefore should come much more often. I'll list something not related to sports, and something sports related, and do my best to connect them somewhat coherently. Enjoy.

• Snowfall in Kansas City ---- FC Barcelona's 2013 Alternate Jerseys Starting last Wednesday, February 20, Kansas City has seen over a foot and a half of snow (with more expected overnight tonight). My sisters have had more than their fair share of snowdays, that much is certain. These storms come on the heels of one of the more shocking incidents the city has seen, as a gas leak produced a massive explosion last week, completely leveling J.J.'s Restaurant, a local favorite. My heart goes out to those individuals and families affected by this explosion. The colors in the pictures of the explosion, and the colors of murals (by Mike Savage) across the street, constantly reminded me of Barca's jerseys. Maybe because these jerseys look like fire. I don't know.

ASG Roundtable

Last weekend a group of well paid athletes gathered to walk around a basketball court and throw down a few dunks.  The next night, a group of athletes that make even more money gathered to do the same thing in the NBA's annual All Star Game. Whether you're bored at work or bored at home, here is our live discussion of the event, beginning Sunday, February 17th at 8:30 PM (Eastern...of course.)

Brian: Hey there America - welcome to the first (of hopefully many) NBA All Star Game live blogs, delivered to you courtesy of Jack, Brian, and the artist formerly known as Paul, who decided to spend the first half with family, instead of making jokes about Ne-Yo and everything Russell Westbrook has worn this weekend. Jack, what's happening?

Jack: Ne-Yo actually sounds pretty bad. So bad I muted it and looked up "Let me love you" on youtube to listen to it instead. As far as outfits go, Craig Sager's jacket tonight may have won the weekend contest. He's only been on tv once tonight, but there's already an article on SportsNation entitled "Craig Sager is wearing the most ridiculous suit for the All Star game."

Brian: I saw that fake ESPN tweeted "I wonder how many pimps Sager killed in the 70s to make that jacket?" Pissed I didn't think of that myself. Anyway, I think the real question we need answered is: which All Star partied the hardest this weekend? Melo is the early favorite based on his interview, but my dark horse is James Harden. First time at the ASG, rising star, crazy beard...there's a decent chance he hasn't slept since Thursday.

The Kansas Jayhawks - Finally Laying a New Foundation

I should have written this piece weeks ago.  I’ve had these thoughts all season.  For someone who isn’t a particularly avid Kansas Jayhawks fan, I’ve watched a lot of their games this season.  I watched them lose early in the season to Michigan State. I watched them beat Ohio State. And then I watched them win a bunch of games in a row and climb to the top of the college basketball rankings. 

They didn’t belong there. That’s clear now.  And I know that is how the rankings work – you continue to win and others above you lose and you get to move up. The number one team in the country has lost the past five weeks.  I understand this season is “wide-open” in college basketball.

But that doesn’t prevent some teams from being clearly better than other teams. And Kansas isn’t among that upper group.

Hipster HOF: Andre Miller

It is time to induct the second member of the Hipster Basketball Hall of Fame - Denver Nuggets PG Andre Miller. In his 13-year NBA career so far, Miller has played for 5 different teams (including two separate stints with the Nuggets). He certainly has longevity, but does he stand up to the criteria for inclusion in our Hall of Fame?

As a reminder, we select for this hall of fame from on a set of questions we developed based on the Keltner List, designed to determine a player's worthiness for induction. Some of the questions are more or less necessities, others simply add bonus points and make a stronger case for the player. We have made one change to the first iteration of the list, changing question 9 from Do color commentators frequently use the terms "crafty," "sneaky," or "old-man game" when describing this player? to Do color commentators seem to think this player "always kills their team" or "plays great against us," when in reality his game is just better than the announcers expect? The first criteria applies to some HHOF (Hipster Hall of Fame) candidates, but not all of them - for some players, athleticism is part of what makes their game unique. The second criteria is a better test for players flying under the radar that are still highly effective, as local TV announcers rarely know anything meaningful about the teams they play against. If a player is "under the radar," they are a natural candidate for the HHOF.

The questions (and answers) are as follows:
 

1. Did this player have something unique or unusual about his game that distinguished him from many, if not all, of his peers? The better question here is, what isn't unique about Miller's game? From his no-jump set shot, to his pinpoint lob and lead passes, to his well-hidden athleticism (both in 2001 and in 2012), Miller's game has been confusing opponents his entire career. He also went to the University of Utah...huh? Check.

The Wizards Sparkle

Yesterday evening I had the distinct pleasure of going to watch the Washington Wizards host the Los Angeles Clippers.  Unfortunately, 3 of the best 5 or 6 players did not play.  On the other hand, I paid $5 for my ticket, so I think I got my money’s worth. 

7:05PM – We walk in (the we being myself and two of my roommates) just in time to see the Wizards intro video. John Wall is obviously introduced last. His eyes look…blazed…and he doesn’t look terribly happy.  Not that it’s a live feed, but he just clearly isn’t trying.

Minor Tweaks to the Future of American Tennis

Sloane Stephens was the story of this Australian Open. Especially since Azarenka won and now everyone is flipping out (or at least making jokes) about how she inappropriately took a time out during her semifinal match against Sloane.  But Azarenka was in firm control of that match, and has pretty convincingly gotten past her obvious “nerve” issues over the past 18 months.  That doesn’t really excuse the timing of the time out she took nor does it mean she didn’t fake it, but it would be foolish to suggest Sloane was going to suddenly turn around a match against the second best player in women’s tennis the day after she almost botched turning it around against the world’s best player who couldn’t walk.

Hipster Basketball Hall of Fame: An Introduction

A few months ago, Neil Paine wrote an interesting article speculating on whether Shawn Marion, he of the two-handed push shot favored by many rec league players, was worthy of induction in the basketball hall of fame. The article shed light on a player who the general population will not remember 10 years from now, but who every serious basketball fan once knew about, respected, and loved or feared depending on whether he played for your team. In the end, Paine concludes that Marion falls short of the criteria for induction by using the Keltner List to aid his analysis. Whether or not you agree with his conclusion in this particular case, it is certainly true that Marion is just one of a large collection of players to fall into the category of "not a household name, but a solid, and at times dominant, player in his prime."

As a big NBA fan, I feel as though these players deserve some sort of recognition beyond the occasional epithet from an NBA color commentator. In many cases, these players had unique attributes to their games (like Marion's jump shot) which appeared unusual but which true fans could grow to appreciate. Generally living under the radar, whenever a player like this ends up making it big (James Harden), a portion of his fans were inevitably disappointed that they could no longer keep him a secret to themselves. Who do these players sound like??? Indie bands beloved by hipsters across the country! This is such a good concept I am amazed I didn't think of it earlier.

From here on out, Volume Shooters will run sporadic pieces on "inductees" into this hall of fame chosen by our staff writers, with Shawn Marion as the inaugural member since he inspired the hall's creation. To give it some sense of legitimacy, we will need our own version of the Keltner list (which, for those of you who didn't click on the above link, is a set of 15 questions designed to determine whether a player is a worthy inclusion into the Hall of Fame in his or her respective sport). Here's our initial stab at a list:

1. Did this player have something unique or unusual about his game that distinguished him from many, if not all, of his peers? A must for inclusion, although this is a very broad category. Marion's jump shot, as covered above, was such a thing.

Javale Making it Rain...on the basketball court

I thoroughly enjoyed the G-chat between Jack and Paul where they contemplated which was a better end of quarter strategy with 3 seconds or less left - having your best shooter try a contested 25 footer, or your center (or other worst shooter that would be uncovered in that situation) shoot a wide open 3?

I'm here to address this argument. My first thought was "no effing way Dwight Howard or any other center should ever get a look from 3." Luckily, I have data to make my opinion for me! Using Pro Basketball Reference's shot finder, I found the expected value of just the situation that Paul described. I limited it to all 3's taken in the first three quarters (because only Vinny Del Negro would run a play like this at the end of the game) of games last season, where there was 3 seconds or less left in the quarter. I also filtered by shots inside 30 feet to exclude half courters and other obviously low percentage shots.

Making It Rain

**Edit - After reading this article for the first time, one of our editors looked like Dwight in this scene after realizing Steve Nash wasn't included.  Sadly, I have to agree and acknowledge that I messed up. Watch this...start at around 0:40.  His form is perfect, his hair is flowing, and his career shooting averages are absurd (49/43/90 - yeah you read that right).  So my apologies to all 7 of our readers.**

Watch this video. Specifically, watch Ray Allen.  Notice how he disappears from the screen for a while?  Rondo runs a fast break, and you never see Ray – not until the ball is kicked out to him in the corner for a sweet three.  It’s important that you see this.  It’s important that you know that instead of making a cut towards the basket for a layup (like most kids are taught), Ray runs to the corner and spots up.  It’s important to note that Ray Allen would do this even if it weren’t a fast break (he would run around screens until he popped open in that spot).

A Case for Javale: Let the man shoot!

Below you will find an hour-long g-chat conversation about the strategy of having an NBA center take an end-of-quarter three pointer. It was based on thisvideo, but my conscience won’t let me post something that makes Javale look good, lest the casual reader see it and think he’s a good basketball player.  So I’m compelled to share thisother video with you as well. Enjoy.

Sent at 10:06 AM on Wednesday

Paul:  btw did you see javale's three and subsequent celebration last night

Sent at 11:14 AM on Wednesday

me:  hahaha no

i'll look it up

Paul:  boy was it funny

Sent at 11:23 AM on Wednesday

me:  haha what the eff was he doing?

also, that play was clearly just "it's the end of the quarter we're up 13 it's the regular season who gives two craps"

and finally...his form isnt terrible, right?

Paul:  apparently

at nevada, he was a 33% three-point shooter his last year

on a not-too-tiny 42 attempts

me:  yeah. he had a follow through at least?

he may make my "people i like to watch shoot" column

haha

Paul:  hahaha

he is actually shooting free throws better this year

honestly though ive always thought that was an underrated end of quarter play

who really has a better shot at making a 3

ray allen fading away from 27 feet with two guys contesting

or a completely wide open center

Sent at 11:29 AM on Wednesday

me:  ray allen

How the (AFC) West was Won

Against all odds, I have managed to make it a month without posting anything too blatantly biased or focused on any Denver team for this blog, at the risk of turning off the intended general audience of nationwide sports fans (which admittedly to this point consists of the three of us and four of our friends...but hey, we can still call ourselves nationwide). However, while home for break, I had the fortune of attending both Broncos home games and witnessing firsthand the surgical dominance of one Peyton Freaking Manning. As a lifelong fan of the team, I have witnessed the quarterbacking struggles they have gone through since Elway's retirement in 1999 - certainly nothing as awful as teams like the Browns (whose winningest quarterback by percentage since the team's return is amazingly a 2-2 Jake Delhomme) and the Bears (who haven't had a decent QB - and sorry Bears fans, you still don't - since Jim McMahon), but it seems like no team has had performance so consistently mediocre from the most important position over the last 10-15 years. Check out this random list of starters since Elway's departure: Brian Griese (defining "Replacement Level" performance at the QB position), Chris Miller (who?), Gus Frerotte (to my knowledge still the Broncos single-game yardage record holder), Steve "Why Is My Finger Bent This Way" Beuerlein, Danny Kanell, Jarious Jackson (again, who?), Jake Plummer, Smokin' Jay Cutler, Kyle Orton, and some guy who got on ESPN a few times last season. Chances are if you know football, you have heard of most of those guys: primarily inconsistent, occasionally memorable, and always thoroughly mediocre.

After living through those 13 seasons, I was struck by how different the Broncos looked with a truly great quarterback running the offense. The offense took on a look than I had ever seen before (I was 8 during the last Super Bowl run), and was a complete 180 degree shift from our "Offense" last season. Some of the credit for this has to go to John Fox and co. for completely rebuilding the system in such a short time, but what other events caused such a complete turnaround in the last 12 months? For my money, here were the four most important moments in turning around the franchise:

Jan. 15, 2012: Patriots 45, Broncos 10

Untimely Appearances

Between his first and second matches of the 2012 US Open, Andy Roddick called a press conference.  Impromptu press conferences are fairly rare in the tennis world; some thought he may be dropping out of the tournament, some thought he just wanted to get some more air-time next to his wife (the ultimate “I don’t care what you say about my career, I married hotter than you did/ever will” move), and some foresaw what actually happened: a retirement announcement.  This couldn’t be said to be a major shock – everyone not named Andy Roddick believed he was past his prime, attempting to compete in a game becoming ever more dominated by wildly athletic, conditioned, punishing 20-somethings.  Some thought he had another year or two of quality competition in him if he wanted it.

The truth is, Andy Roddick has always trained extremely hard, and always competed even harder.  When he first began training with the major US players, Agassi was amazed at the power and commitment of the young teenager.  You could never watch an Andy Roddick match, against anyone, and say at the end, “You know, it really looked like Andy folded in that final set.”  For a man who went 2-19 against the greatest player history has seen (thus far), that statement is perhaps a greater legacy than any set of numbers or accomplishments he achieved on the court.

Yet despite his commitment, enthusiasm, energy, athleticism, and love for the game, Andy Roddick retires having only won a single major. 

One. 

5 Bold Predictions for the NBA Season

As a huge NBA fan, I was happy to see the 2012-2013 iteration of the NBA season get under way a few months ago without the lockout-related shenanigans of last year. While its debatable whether the labor compromise actually solved the fundamental areas of concern for owners (namely, letting small markets keep star players and keeping their own GMs from doing anything too stupid), the sensible return to basketball last year and subsequent thrilling playoffs built up interest for this NBA season to its highest level in my lifetime.

(Note: this is in stark contrast to the NHL labor dispute where, despite an entire missed season just 8 years ago, somehow Gary Bettman wasn't smart enough to outlaw 17 YEAR CONTRACTS worth over $100 million dollars; meaning, BECAUSE hockey stupidly locked everybody out 8 years ago and the general population [such as myself] stopped caring, thus steadily decreasing fan interest and team revenues, team general managers [who pretty much universally can't be trusted at this point] could continue to torpedo the league with, once again, 17 YEAR CONTRACTS, bankrupt the teams, and cause a lockout. Hockey lost enough fans in 2004 and they sure aren't getting them back any time soon - other American leagues which will soon pass the NHL in interest level include the MLS, the UFC, the PGA Tour, the WTA, the WWE, Arena Football, the Dew Tour, the PBA, Bassmasters, horse racing, the ESPN Timbersports Series, college hockey, college volleyball, college curling, club ultimate frisbee, college ultimate frisbee, and watching President Obama eat sandwiches in slow motion. Just further proof that David Stern placed Bettman in power to secure his legacy as the best current commissioner [almost by default at this point considering the strong PR work Roger Goodell has done recently, and of course the fact that Bud Selig is a large, floppy hand puppet]. But I digress.)

All I Want for Christmas is a QB

There’s a QB controversy brewing on a team with an offensive mascot name.  It’s not full blown yet, but during the off-season and throughout 2013 it will be one that will occupy the minds of players, coaches, management, and fans around the city and country.  It will be a decision that must be made with the knowledge that a division rival is led by a Manning; a decision on how to spend money, and on whom, and what the franchise’s goals should be; a decision on whether or not to promote a back-up, and perhaps which back-up should be given a starting role.

Nope, it isn’t the Washington Washingtons.

Build Your Own Batmobile: How Average NBA Players Would Make Incredible Intramural Teams

Brian: Gentlemen, good morning. We are happy to bring our readers (all 4 of them) a treat today - we will be live drafting teams that we would consider to be "the best intramural team" made possible with non-All Star NBA players. The intent is to pick guys that have never made an all-Star game or first-team anything, but would have any intramural team in the country begging on their knees to be allowed to bring the ball past midcourt.

We will pick 7 players each, snake draft style, with at least 3 guards and 2 post players on each team. To determine the first pick, Paul picked a conference, Jack picked a team, and I picked a random player and we each had 5 seconds to guess their career points total. We came up with Western-Blazers-Luke Babbitt and Paul won the rights to the first pick with an amazing guess of 310 (actual total was 297). My mediocre at best guess of 3500 was good for second pick, and Jack "Portland Soccer Mom" Peterson will be bringing up the rear with a mind-numbingly poor guess of 6,789. Without further ado, Jack and Paul!

Paul: Alright lets get it started! After an embarrassingly easy victory guessing the career point total of Luke Babbitt (really Jack you guessed almost 7,000 points?), for the first pick on any streetbal-style team, you want a player with a silky J, wicked crossover move, good size, and a little bit of a mean streak. My selection has checked all those boxes over the course of his 13-year career, but despite scoring over 50 in a game for 3 different teams and leading the NBA in all-time 4 point plays, has never been an all-star selection, with his career highlights including a 6th man of the year award. Generally shoddy defense non-withstanding (but really who plays D in intramurals), with the first overall pick, I select Jamal "J-Crossover" Crawford of the Los Angeles Clippers.

A Closer Look at the "Kobe Assist"

Ten or fifteen years ago, basketball began to undergo a statistical revolution in much the same way baseball had ten or fifteen years prior with Bill James. Over the years, different schools of thought about player value have developed, but there are a few central tenets that most quote-on-quote "advanced statisticians" seem to agree on. One of the biggest such tenets states that points per game are a truly terrible metric for value; good teams do tend to have players that score a lot of points, but so do bad teams, and efficiency is far more important. A related tenet is that generating the most possible points in every possession is more important than generating the most points overall, meaning that if Carmelo scores 35 points but goes 10 for 30 in doing so, his team is highly likely to lose despite his high point totals. In short, the vast majority of players can take lots of shots, and making them is certainly important, but not missing shots is what truly adds value to a team. Missed shots, in all except certain rare end-of-game free throw situations, are bad.

Recently, a Kirk Goldsberry article entitled "The Kobe Assist" generated a lot of discussion amongst the statistical world for attempting to disprove the theory that all such missed shots have equal, negative, value for a team. I encourage reading the entire thing, but for those of you who don't want to/can't access Grantland at work/want to get through this article before your shit is over, Goldsberry's basic thesis is that each player's missed shots are not created equal. In other words, some players are far more likely to get their missed shots rebounded by their own team, leading to (typically) an easy putback. The stats will record this as a miss (a negative event) by the shooter, and an ORB and made shot (positive events) by the rebounder, but since the first shot led to the second, easy shot, some of this positive value should transfer back to the shooter. Unsurprisingly, Kobe Bryant (famous for many reasons, notably large point totals and correspondingly large numbers of missed shots) is the king of this stat, with over 200 such instances over the last two seasons, so Goldsberry names the stat after him.

So, the obvious next question is, does this throw a major wrench into the entire notion of advanced statistics in basketball?

Even Royalty Must Choose (Yes, that means you, KC Royals)

The great questions most of us face in life are obvious: Could I be making more money if I had started my own business?  Why do the pockets on my shorts always come out of the wash inside out if I don’t put them in that way? Is three kids too many? If the best parts of any talent show on TV are the discoveries of weird people with amazing voices, why does the show need to be anything other than just a series of auditions?  And how the hell is Survivor still a show?

For a general manager of a major sports franchise, these are easily answered (no, I don’t wear shorts, with my first wife, I think we can all agree this is the case, and because seeing people starve and fight at the same time is some sort of weird human-impulse turn-on).  The real question is: Do I build a team to have success in the future (potentially sacrificing success in the present), or do I do what I can to put my team in a position to succeed every single year?

(Perhaps the actual question is: Is my fan base willing to let me build a franchise that will succeed in the future – and not fire me before it gets there?)

NFL All-Criminal Team

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

There is no buzz-beater for greatness

Kobe Bryant’s story is an interesting one.  Filled with talent, promise, money, fame, set-backs, slumps, awe-inspiring finishes, dunks, friendships, friends he says would not have been successful without him, and friends that call him super old.  He’s produced some of the NBA’s greatest plays and moments of my brief lifetime.  He’s also produced some of the more character-less acts done by professionals - which is saying something.

And yet, despite all that, “Kobe!” is what any kid calls out when he practices his buzzer-beating fade-away.  (Ok, let’s be honest – it’s also what all high schoolers, college students, and young adults call out as well.)  Take a poll – who is the “clutchest” player in the NBA, who is the best closer, who would you most like to have taking the final shot for your team? Kobe.  (Challenged in the last year by Kevin Durant.)  Who sells the most jerseys around the world – most notably in China? Kobe.