Paul:
Well guys, welcome back to another exciting edition of the Volume Shooters live
blog! We've got a special guest with us tonight, resident Warriors fan William
"Frattin" Stratton Roberts. Bulls v. Nets however is still ongoing so
we're catching the end of it quickly. What say you all?
Jack:
DAVID LEEEEEEE
(For
reference, a TNT game break just showed David Lee warming up.)
Brian:
hey will!
(i'm
sitting next to him)
that's
so funny
Will:
regretting inviting me yet?
Jack:
I don't know if we get the same commercials or not, but I would like to say
that I hate the "Hopper" commercials with all the miniature crap.
"It's the same thing"...the hell it's not! I don't want a tiny ass
beer and one nacho!
Related...I
do like the AT&T commercials. I'm sorry, what's going on? The Bulls are
down 4 with 2:45 left?
Brian:
Resident Warriors fan Will can barely contain himself. Will Steph go for 40?
Can Andrew Bogut continue his resurgence? Can the Nuggets continue their dirty
play from game 5 with plenty of help from the refs? So many story lines!
Will:
Thanks for the invite guys! I have a number of opinions. I'm glad I have you in
my reach to share them. And probably have to reach the.
Read
*
Them *
Already Drunk.
Paul:
For the sake of my sanity' lets try to avoid any mention of the Nuggets
"dirty play" from game 5. I believe it was Faried that got both
open-field tackled and shoved in the neck in that game.
Will:
Well Paul we can definitely keep it to a minimum. At least if he stops diving
all over the place like greg leughenis (sp?)
Jack:
Will the more typos you have the harder this is going to be to edit. Don't be a
dick to whoever has to do that later...(cough Paul cough).
Jack:
Next thought...I'm calling Will "Stratton" from now on so no one gets
confused about whether or not I'm asking a question.
Brian:
This one could get chippy, folks. Anyway like Jack mentioned, the Bulls are
down 5 to the Nets with 2:30 to play.
Paul:
The Bulls are putting up a valiant effort tonight thus far despite having about
3.6 healthy players who aren't named Vladimir Radmonivic.
Brian:
Make it a 2 point game!
Will:
Google says Louganis, I'm inclined to believe it. I'll refrain from further
"useful commentary" until the Warriors game.
Brian:
Unrelated note: is anyone else calling bullshit on Nate Robinson having
"the flu"? Odds are 3:2 he's hungover, 10:1 it was bad pizza, and
100000:1 he has the flu.
(Robinson tries a 1-handed, 18-foot leaner.
Predictably, it misses badly.)
Paul:
WTF was that move?
Jack:
Just trying to follow in the footsteps of his dad...errrr hero...Michael
Jordan.
Brian:
let's see...Michael is 50. Nate is 28. Hmmm.....
(Blatche is fouled by
Boozer, his 6th foul.)
Paul:
And the Booze Stank fouls out. Tough break if Chicago can't pull this one out
at home. Can Andray Blatche come through?
HE
MISSES!
Brian:
I watched a lot of Andray Blatche when he was on the Wizards. And let's just
say he is who we thought he was.
Will:
breaking news: David Lee is active. Thoughts?
Paul:
Quick recap of this Bulls season: in need of a tying bucket, they will be going
to Noah (pretty good), Nate Robinson (questionably good), Marco Bellinelli
(Italian), Jimmy Butler (total unknown until 2 months ago), and Nazr Mohammad
(former Egyptian pharaoh). This does not inspire confidence.
Will:
Am I wrong or are you only allowed to say that if you're Italian?
And
I mean super Italian? Like you have a sticker on your Fiat that says your other
car is a Fiat?
Jack:
Better than wearing a BMW shirt while you're driving a BMW. It's ok I can make
that joke because Jake Thompson will never read this. But ladies...beware.
Paul:
Looks like the Warriors game will be starting on NBA TV?
Jack:
…Paul just tricked me into seeing a preview for some terrible Will Smith movie.
Brian:
That's an oxymoron, bro
Jack:
You're right. if iRobot is your worst film, you did pretty darn good in life.
(Blatche hits two
free throws and the Nets go up 3 points.)
Paul:
I am effectively so anxious I can't see straight. Hopefully one of these teams
wins in regulation so we don't have to do double duty here.
Will:
Watching the Bulls game still. Apparently NBATv hasn't made it to the south? Who
wants to watch Andray Blatche?
(After running down
an offensive rebound with 6 seconds left, Noah pivots…and steps a full foot out
of bounds.)
Paul:
WOW...anticlimactic much?
Brian:
Freaking Noah. God he sucks.
(Noah forces a jump
ball with Deron Williams about 2 seconds later.)
Paul:
^Instant karma.
Will:
Deron Williams: "fuck if I'm jumping this"
Height
advantage --> Joaquim the Alien Noah
(Noah wins the tip…right
to Joe Johnson, who runs out the clock.)
Paul:
Every Bulls fan: "BOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOO!"
But
oh well. Its Western Conference time!
Will:
Pre-Warrior's game predictions: Kent Bazemore pulls his hip flexor in a
celebration
Jack:
Kevin Harlan is announcing. He has attractive daughters.
Can
I strike that from the record?
(TNT turns to Nuggets
coverage with Denver up 10-5 early on.)
Paul:
Looks like JaVale is making his mark early. Nugs with 6 ORBs
Jack:
Looks like every Warriors fan took 5 of the towels handed out at Nuggets games
and sewed them together to make a shirt.
Will:
"We believe!" Circa 07
(Draymond Green does
something.)
Jack:
Who's that guy!
Brian:
God they call a lot of moving screens against GSW.
Probably
because they suck at setting screens.
Paul:
Denver is probably the worst screening team of all time. On another note, the
Nugs have somehow awoken the inner Kraken of Draymond Green. Dude shot 35% from
the field this year and is killing us.
Will:
Draymond's been working on that jumper.
(David Lee, who tore
his hip flexor 11 days ago, goes to the scorer’s table. Karl quickly calls a
timeout to attempt to mute the crowd’s reaction to the David Lee appearance.
Jackson pulls him back and re-inserts him as soon as the game starts up again, nullifying
the effect of the timeout.)
Jack:
DAVID LEE IS CHECKING IN
Paul:
Wow.
Brian:
Shades of Willis Reed!!!
Will:
Biased Warrior Fan: I can't believe that Stern isn't padding some 'moving
screen' wallets in Denver's favor. #conspiracy
Brian:
For those who didn't get my last reference: http://www.aolnews.com/2010/05/05/willis-reeds-vintage-moment-turns-40/
Paul:
Its too bad we had to miss the opening 4 mins to this game to watch Andray
Blatche shoot free throws.
Jack:
Cry me a river. If anyone needs a reminder of how great this arena is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYpwjB0IzoU
YouTube
video
Brian:
You know that every time Andray Blatche shoots a free throw, you lose 7 minutes
off your life?
Or
is that cigarettes....
Will:
I wholeheartedly agree, Paul. It's not nearly as entertaining as Andres
Biedrins. Stay tuned. Airball possible.
Paul:
PS if Lee plays more than 10 minutes...let's just say I'm going to go buy a
lottery ticket.
Jack:
Number of times he goes to the scorers table before he actually goes in?
Will:
3
Paul:
Mark Jackson has already proven to be lord of the mind games
(Lee plays 2 minutes,
grabs a rebound, and misses an 18 footer. He checks out and does not return.
Curry hits a towering bank shot in traffic.)
Jack:
Those are probably the two least likely points Steph scores all night.
Brian:
Curry is an acrobat on the court
Paul:
KOSTA KOUFUS THREE POINTER
Jack:
That was 100% a travel.
Paul:
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Brian:
HAHAHAAHA
Will:
You know it's not your night when......
Brian:
Something about this series makes everyone at least a 40% 3 points shooter
Will:
Jesus, these teams are playing defense like Sachtjen uses protection. Rarely.
Paul:
Boy the Warriors crowd is tremendous tonight. Pretty much the exact opposite of
the Nuggets defense thus far.
Jack:
Bogut going with the "I'll give you the 8 footer so you don't go around
me" defense.
Paul:
Bill Barnwell: "Kosta Koufus hitting a three is the NBA equivalent of a
FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN."
Will:
Paul, you couldn't be more right about the Warriors crowd. I still claim that
the loudest they've been all year was when Andris made two in a row though (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQVrkkCZJQA)
Paul:
Come on Kosta you can't hit a 4 footer? You just hit at 3!
Jack:
Koufus going for the unguarded 4 foot hook followed by the tip in on his own
basket.
Brian:
Koufus is a doofus! Sorry, I'm done
Jack:
When do we get to make Pokemon references?
Paul:
We've already easily hit the "over" on Koufus mentions tonight. I
propose a moratorium.
Will:
David Lee in long enough to throw up a brick before needing a breather.
Jack:
Dunno why Andre opted out of that 3. Wait...20% for his career? Ok good point.
Paul:
Well as much as I enjoyed the lat 3 minutes of "Andre Miller pounds the
rock while 4 Nuggets stand and watch," I think we could stand to spice it
up a bit.
Brian:
For those keeping score at home, its 25-21 Nuggets after the first quarter.
Paul is on his 4th beer. Will is on his 9th.
Jack:
Paul can't already be blackout!
Will:
Were they keeping stats back in '64 for Miller's rookie year?
Paul:
No, Will, but he was allowed to do this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fihKmz35rtI
Paul:
Also, as much as I dislike the Hopper commercials, the Falling Skies
commercials have got to be worse. Man those are creepy.
Jack:
Steph getting physical! Even though it was on accident!
(Absurd no-call on
Javale followed by a Faried dunk on the other end.)
Paul:
Faried!
Jack:
Someone please explain to me why Ezeli goes for that block on the other side of
the rim. That just makes no sense to me.
Paul:
The refs are also really going against expectations and just not calling
anything. That's the 4th foul total.
Brian:
The sound that it makes when Faried slaps a rebound is roughly 125 decibels.
(Nuggets run the “6
consecutive dribble drives into an off-balance Corey Brewer jumper” offense,
followed by the Warriors getting a quick bucket on the other end.)
Jack:
That was the weirdest set of possessions. I'm not sure anyone was in control of
the ball for the last 25 seconds.
Will:
I like they're letting them play. It's always better when refs swallow the
whistle (maybe not there). For example, if they had game 5, who knows where
we'd be. Right Paul?
(Charge on McGee.)
Brian:
So who else thinks that Javale McGee resembles Obama? Right, me neither
Jack:
HA I am almost sure a camera man or fan just grabbed Corey Brewer after that
lay up.
Paul:
Reggie Miller: "This is Denver's most athletic team." Otherwise known
as "The Garbage shooters of the Mile High City"
(The chat experiences
technical difficulties.)
Brian
Sachtjen has left.
Jack:
Did Brian just go to bed? Cause that's where I'm headed...as the fun-employed member
of the group I have to be ready for my interviews!
Will
Roberts has left.
Paul:
...
Guys?
Buehler?
Jack:
Clowns. Alright I'm out. See you all later.
Jack
Peterson has left.
…
Paul:
After those brief technical difficulties, we're back.
Corey
Brewer clearly targeting Curry's ankles on that offensive foul.
Brian:
Not a bad strategy. They are made of paper mache after all
Paul:
You guys think David Lee comes back?
Brian:
Yes but with very limited minutes and effectiveness.
(Andre Miller strings
together 4 excruciating possessions in a row. Warriors trim an 11 point lead to
2.)
Paul:
(inappropriate Andre Miller comment redacted)
Brian:
hahahahahaha
Will:
what happened? I blacked out (I was on the phone with my girlfriend)
Paul: I'm
honestly flabbergasted the Nuggets are winning so far. Shooting 36% with Miller
as the leading shooter is a classic Denver move, but somehow we are outhustling
them at home. Doubt we can keep this up so we better start making some shots.
Will:
Ya this game is really tough to watch from a Warriors perspective. They're
hopin’ Steph catches fire and everyone’s shooting cautiously
Layups
layups layups. Thats the NBA playoffs baby.
(Refs make egregious
no-calls on both ends.)
Paul:
Hmmmmm
Refs
are about as awake as the Nuggets on offense.
Will:
Wow they are letting them play.
Paul:
Also, George Karl insists on going small and the Warriors luger him every time.
Same thing here.
Brian:
Hey, more importantly, did you know that Jason Segal backed up Jason Collins in
high school? And that apparently he could throw down like no one's business?
Paul:
That's certainly one of the funn-est facts of the Jason Collins story these
days
Brian:
Lawson has been the victim of at least 5 2nd degree assaults this half.
Probably 1 of which was called a foul
Will:
*Insert San Francisco Skyline for Game in Oakland*
Will:
Oakland is the Hood
Paul:
If the game stays this close I am about to need the stiffest of beverages. I
can barely type coherently as it is.
Brian:
I'll give you the stiffest of beverages
Paul:
I think the refs were replaced with random number generators.
"3
seconds on Denver!" "But Golden State was on offense!"
"Flagrant foul!"
Will:
Take that shot Jarrett Jack. Running for a sprint floaters aren't the ticket.
(JaVale gets an
offensive rebound and a steal on consecutive plays, Nuggets score. Refs follow
with an absurd offensive foul on Bogut.)
Will:
JaVale with the heads up hands.
Paul:
JaVale with an enormous two hustle plays right there
"Offensive
foul on Bogut!"
Will:
BOY. That's a what?
Paul:
Makeup call coming in 3...2...
Will:
How much does you think Stern will pay a ref for a game 7? Over under at 6
figures?
Paul:
Man, Brewer is hot and cold
When
he's good, he's really good. When he's bad, he's brutal.
Brian:
Man, I was expecting a much more high scoring half. Over under 200 points
combined for the game?
Paul:
Unless Golden State catches fire (35% chance), I say definitely under. It's
been a much slower pace thus far.
Will:
Ill pull under, Brian. I think they're all quakin’ in their Nikes.
(HalftiPaul: 42-40
Nuggets. Neither team in any sort of rhythm thanks to shaky officiating and
poor shooting. Nuggets fans collectively hold their breath for the Steph Curry
Q3 explosion.)
Paul:
Charles Barkley drug reference. This game isn't a total loss.
Brian:
Missed the drug reference...Paul can you fill us in?
Will:
Pga Tour is in town. McIlroy wins it.
Oh
sorry, wrong thread?
Paul:
Barkley: "Consulting my team on crack...sorry my team doing crack...SORRY,
my crack team..."
In
other news, I'm considering pulling the plug on this thread, going to sleep,
and praying for victory. If not I may experience internal organ failure.
Will:
It will live on without you (Warrior's fans don't wimp out) which just means we
can talk more trash about the Nuggets
Paul:
Apparently Warrior players don't wimp out either, even if their hip flexor is
completely detached from the bone...still in shock about that.
(The thread slows
down significantly as the third quarter starts slowly.)
Will:
(I'm considering going to sleep as well)
Paul:
I'll say this: if the Warriors don't pull this out, I don't think they've got a
good shot in game 7
Will:
They?
Will:
Carl Landry has got to be 6th man of the year.
Paul:
Illegal walking on Faried...without the ball.
Brian:
Glad George Karl could make this game in between shooting scenes for
"Leprechaun 7"
Paul:
...still not seeing the fouls. This chat has taken on a much darker tone.
Will:
No foul on JaVale squashing Steph, you say?
Paul:
On Javale jumping straight up as Steph's ankles disintegrate in mid-air?
(Instant karma
strikes as Steph hits 2 straight 3’s, sending Oracle into a 110-decibel
frenzy.)
God.
Damn. It.
Will:
This game has taken a turn for the better!
Brian:
Paul maybe it's a good time to pour that stiff drink?
Paul:
3 BS fouls take Faried out completely disintegrating our pick and roll defense.
Brian:
BALL DON'T LIE
Will:
Jack, come in jack.
Brian:
Apparently Detlef Schrempf has a twitter? who would have thought
Paul:
Massive shot by AI there.
Looks
like the Warriors have flipped the NBA Jam switch unfortunately.
Will:
If there is anything I have to concede watching him play, Iguodala is the most
athletic guy on the floor.
But
Steph is the next Jesus…so it's ok
Hilarious
sequence of Andrew Bogut getting tossed into the upper deck and then steph
feeding him for the yam.
(The Warriors go on a
major run and go up 11 points. The Nuggets try to hang tough but aren’t getting
calls inside and can’t stop GSW.)
Paul:
"Ty Lawson's first trip to the line tonight." Pretty much tells you
all you need to know about these refs.
Will:
There have been phantom calls all kinds of directions Mr. Britton.
Will:
Probably should have been there one paul
Paul:
Why do the Nuggets forget how to play defense every third quarter?
Will:
Ahhhh, tell me that's not an open-ended question. Because I have all kinds of
smartass responses if you'd like.
Brian:
Not much they can do against the god of fire Stephen Curry.
Will:
Pretty sad we haven't seen more of Bazemore on the bench going Bruce Lee on
phantom Nuggets
(Javale is again
whistled for a charge, because he’s Javale McGee.)
Paul:
THAT IS A TERRIBLE CALL
Replay
says: THAT IS STILL A TERRIBLE CALL
Will:
Make up call: moving screen coming
Paul:
Boy it is a good thing that Jack 3 did not go in
(Nuggets lose their
rotation, leave Green under the basket, then collapse on him allowing a wide
open Curry 3. Warriors by 12.)
Will:
If there is anything that surely anyone on this thread can agree on, it's that
it's always fun to watch Steph shoot the 3
Paul:
Begrudgingly I agree with you there
Will:
It's pure paul!
Paul:
I think I am going to have to excuse myself before I do something I regret.
Will:
You leaving bro?
Will:
Hi brian, in case you missed it, Steph is donkey-romping all over the 3 point
line at the moment
Paul:
20x too much Kosta Koufus, both in this thread and on the court.
Will:
Agreed Paul, and, unfortunately, too much Faried for my delicate senses. Boy is
he filthy.
(Down only 9, the
Nuggets choose not to hold for the last shot. Brewer’s 3 gets wedged between
the rim and backboard.)
Paul:
Definition Corey Brewer.
(Nuggets win the jump
ball, Brewer bricks another 3 then fouls Jarrett Jack 85 feet from his own
basket with .8 seconds on the clock.)
Paul: Sweet Jesus.
Brian:
No, THAT was definition corey brewer
Will:
I helped a couple kids get a ball unstuck from the rim the other day. I have to
imagine they didn't need me help there tonight.
Major
shout out to Oakland: there can't be any team that would want to play the warriors
there for a series dependent game. They are loud.
Paul:
Well...anybody think Denver still has a chance?
Will:
I can't answer that question. I defer to you Brian.
Brian:
Chance? yes
I
rescind my answer after that Andre Miller 3
Will:
A shot clock violation has to be the most bush-league of all nba violations.
Maybe
only outdone by the tech from calling a timeout when you have none
(Warriors begin what
looks like it will be a game-deciding 7-0 run.)
Paul:
Nuggets 1/11 on 3s in the second half. That Corey Brewer 3 was basically the
most Nuggets play of all time.
Will:
Draymond can’t quite complete the follow up tip-in aka the Will Roberts special
Paul:
Well, game over. Allow me a quick bitchy rant before I spare myself the next 9
minutes and to go sleep
Will:
Ha, go
Brian:
I'm all ears (fires up youjizz)
Paul:
1. Everybody is going to say this is evidence you can't win a title without a
superstar. This is false. You can't win a title if you have no superstar AND
your team is one of the 5 worst shooting teams in the NBA.
2.
As much as I enjoyed watching George Karl's offense, his rotations are
absolutely mystifying and have been that way all year. There is no reason why
Koufus should have played this whole half while Javale played 3 mins and then
got benched. (Ed.’s Note: Koufus was -21
for the game. The rest of the Nuggets as a team were +1. JaVale was +8.)
Will:
Brian, want to go to Wendy's
?
Brian:
Honey, you think KFC's still open?
Paul:
3. Mark Jackson is a pretty damn good coach but he also comes off as being
extremely full of himself, which I dislike. He pulled some shenanigans this
series which didn't really work at all, and was bailed out by Curry shooting up
to his full potential.
Will:
I know Taco Bell is
Open
Late, remember?
Paul:
4. This Nuggets team deserves another chance to make a run at a title. Really
took the wind out of our sails when Gallinari got hurt, Faried got hurt, and we
played the spiciest shooting team ever in round 1 (the same type of teams that
have killed Denver all year).
and
5. It is objectively terrifying to root against Steph Curry, at any time, ever.
Here's hoping I never have to do it again.
Paul:
So there you have it. R.I.P. the best regular season team in Denver Nugget
history. I'm out boys, enjoy the rest of the game.
(Ed.’s note: Paul’s
dramatic departure from the chat spurred a 13-0 Nuggets run, which would
eventually fizzle when the ball was mysteriously called out of bounds with 11
seconds left and immediately before a Faried game-tying dunk. Much rejoicing in
Oakland, many tears in Denver, and I will now light myself on fire.)
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